SHINE: Tamu Mosley on Navigating the Perimenopause Portal (Ep. 56)
“This conversation isn’t happening enough...women are eager for it.”
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In this episode of Moonwise, we speak with herbalist and holistic wellness facilitator Tamu Mosley about the spiritual significance of perimenopause. We discuss her experience of hosting a women’s womb circle for those going through this transition and some of the common symptoms and themes that have come up. We talk about reframing the menopause process as a potent opportunity to step into our power and how she embraced her own grey hair. Tamu shares her personal insights and tips for self care in perimenopause, including herbal allies and practices that have been supportive on the journey.
We also talk about:
Mourning the end of the child bearing years
Honoring your last moon blood
Stepping back from habits of care-taking
The importance of sharing our stories in community
Unapologetically sharing our gifts with the world
Tamu Mosley is an Oakland born mama of 3, a teacher, a wholistic wellness facilitator, a kitchen alchemist, a home herbalist & herbal maker, and a budding flower essence practitioner. Tamu is founder and CEO of Wholistic Shine (established in 2014) and Uchū Botanical (established in 2018). She is deeply nourished by a consistent self care practice cultivated over the past 27 years that includes preparing healthy plant based meals, natural skin care & herbal remedies in her ‘kitchen healing laboratory’, seasonal wholistic detoxes, yoga, connecting with nature and working with flower essences.
Tamu is passionate about a wholistic approach to eating and living by bringing more mindfulness and intention to daily choices along with cultivating wellness practices that support mind, body and spirit. She is honored and humbled to support others on their wellness journey by inspiring, educating and empowering them through her Wholistic Shine and Uchū Botanical offerings.
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Links:
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SHINE: Tamu Mosley on Navigating the Perimenopause Portal-Ep. 56 (Transcription)
Dorothee: Hello, and welcome to Moonwise Podcast, a space to celebrate seasons, cycles, and writes of passage. I'm your host, Dorothee Sophie Royal, and today, we speak with herbalist and holistic wellness facilitator, Tamu Mosley, about the spiritual significance of perimenopause. We discuss her experience of hosting a women's womb circle for those going through this transition and some of the common symptoms and themes that have come up. We talk about reframing the menopause process as a potent opportunity to step into her power and how she embraced her own gray hair. Tamu shares her personal insights and tips for self care and perimenopause, including herbal allies, and practices that have been supportive on the journey.
We also talk about mourning the end of the childbearing years, honoring your last moon blood, stepping back from habits of care taking, the importance of speaking our stories in community, and unapologetically sharing our gifts with the world. Tamu Mosley is an Oakland born mama of three, a teacher, a holistic wellness facilitator, a kitchen alchemist, home herbalist and herbal maker and a budding flower essence practitioner. She's the founder and CEO of Wholistic Shine and Uchū Botanica. She is deeply nourished by a consistent self care practice cultivated over the past twenty seven years that includes preparing healthy plant based meals natural skincare and herbal remedies in her kitchen healing laboratory, as well as seasonal holistic detoxes, yoga, connecting with nature, and working with flower essences. Hi, Tamu. Thank you so much for being on the show today. I am so happy to be here and have this conversation with you. So for those who are not familiar with your work yet, I just want to paint a picture of what I've been seeing in your work. And in particular, the energy that you bring through in your work, which is that you are a person who glows. And I can imagine with so many years of focus on healthy eating and beautiful sacred work like, that's where this glow is coming from. But if if I encourage people to go check out your Instagram and see for yourself, there's a certain radiance that comes through you that I feel is certainly more than physical, and so I'm very excited to talk with you today about a particular season in a woman's life coming from you who are so beautifully rocking some silver hair in your photos and have mother three children and are just doing amazing things in the world. So, yeah, I'm really excited to chat with you.
Tamu: Thank you so much. I definitely attribute my shine or my glow from about twenty five years of of my self care journey and journey with food as medicine and that initiation kind of came right along with motherhood. So, yeah, that kind of marked my my my full awareness of of the importance of self care and healing healing our ability to heal.
Dorothee: That's so beautiful, especially with three kiddos. It's certainly a lot of energy to be sharing and and raising other people and then to actually be able to prioritize your health as well as something that I really admire.
Tamu: I took it for granted before I became a mom. So that awareness that I have to make time for myself really came through as I stepped into motherhood. And, you know, in this particular moment, I've had a lot of people and friends of mine as well start to look at this new phase in their lives where they're not an elder yet, but they're starting to near a phase beyond the childbearing years. It's like a four to ten year process before actual menopause, which in our culture, we call Para menopause, I really wish there was a different word for this whole process, and I'm just like waiting for someone. I mean, maybe it's us. I don't know. Or a listener out there, like, can we name this something beautiful and sacred?
Because this is a very important process.
Dorothee: And for those who maybe haven't had children, maybe they're reaching a certain achievement point in their career or finding priorities shift or feeling new power, surging through their being. And for those who have had children, it may be a time when the children are starting to leave home or really become more independent. And there's a shift in the life of a woman. So, yeah, I'm just I really wanna hear your perspective and and experience of that time in life.
Tamu: Yes. Well, I'm just glowing inside to have this conversation because well, I so I'm so happy to be here on Moonwise because I listened to you had Pat and McCabe, Woman Stands Shining on I don't know when the first recording was, but I listened to it a couple years ago and then you brought it back and reminded us all that it was there and I listened to it again and in in the interview, she did say that she mentioned this this step through this corridor from motherhood into being an elder and that time, that transition, but she didn't say anything more and I was just left hanging. Like, oh, can you please share the journey with us. We would we would love to hear that and and I'm finding that with a lot of the elders that I have listened to hear, you know, speak in person and on podcasts and their readings and their audio recordings that many of them do not talk about this transition.
This this phase in between elderhood and motherhood and when you're meant trading and that phase in between Pat McCabe, I've listened to Carmen Vicente, who shares so much about our moon time and working with our moon blood and Queen of Afua, who also, you know, focuses so much on women's womb work and and none of them really mention this period of time. Although I did find elder Sobonfu Some does speak about this in her her she has this I think it's six disc recording called the women's wisdom from the heart of Africa, and she does speak speak about this transition and If you don't mind, I would love to just share a couple little tidbits she shares that it's a process of widening and a time to collect and gather our energy, a time where the energy is drawn back inside, and that turning our energy into the water of life for the whole community and that this shift into elderhood that we become the carriers of the water of life. And so that was a jewel that I I had listened to this recording years ago and because I wasn't in in that phase. I didn't hear it, but I listened to it again more recently and and kind of honed in on those jewels from her.
Dorothee: I got full body chills when you said carrier of the waters of life. So that feels really potent. And one of my dear mentors, Susan Lipshutz, I've heard her talk about menopause as well, she calls it regenapause, and she calls it a time when the energetic center of a woman starts to move from her womb space up into her heart space, and in doing so like what you just read, she's stepping into her role as a mother, not just her own family, but to the community and the world at large. So that sounds like very similar to what you're talking about there.
Tamu: Yes. Yes. So I remember, I don't know how long ago. Maybe about six years ago, I went to the gynecologist for my annual exam and I don't remember what I was mentioning to her, but then she says, well, you're probably in perimenopause, and I'm just, what what is that? What is that?
Because well, no. But he really talks about it. And And so I went home and I'm like perimenopause and then I learned, okay, this can last for about ten years and I'm like, wow. Okay. So I'm in it.
And and then my friends, we all started having these conversations, but privately, private conversations one on one with each other. And I would be with one sister friend and we would have this conversation. I would be with another sister friend, and we would have this conversation. And I'm just kind of like, why are we not openly talking about this? As a community of women, you know, we all went through mothering together and pregnancy and talking very openly.
I feel like society is very open about or or somewhat open about talking about you know, pregnancy and this transition into motherhood. But this transition, you know, from motherhood into being an elder or a throne is not spoken about. So I decided this was in January of twenty twenty one, I called a women's circle together, a bipoc women's circle with reach out to sister friends in we don't all know each other, but I knew all of them and invited them to come in to create a woman's circle or a womb circle that I ended up naming dancing the in between. So we could come together every month and, you know, this time, during this time, it was it was virtual because we were still, you know, in the midst of the pandemic. And just a way to connect and share what we're going through, share how our emotions are changing, share how our focus is changing to share, you know, share out with all of our kind of wisdom share our our the herbal allies that are supporting us.
Share our self care practices that are supporting us through this time. And one of the things I had the group do is at the very beginning is to go to our mothers and ask ask our mothers their menopausal story and and see if they have any jewels to share because most of us didn't talk to our mothers about this transition. So that was part of our homework after our first session was to go ask our mothers what what their story was.
Dorothee: Amazing. That sounds so beautiful. And I'm curious if there are common themes that have come up in terms of what women are experiencing in the circle.
Tamu: Oh, oh, yes. Wow. Well, on a on an emotional, physiological level, I would say, one theme that actually wasn't really on my list of topics to cover, was mourning the end of our childbearing year. Years. And even though, you know, most of us had worth children and we're like, okay, I'm ready to move on to the next phase.
There was like in inkling in many of us that still thought maybe that baby would come at forty nine. Maybe that last baby, you would come at forty nine. It was very interesting. We were all just like, yeah. We're kinda over that.
But at the same time, what if I could have a baby right now, you know, just that one last baby. So we created a ritual rate where we created our our what did we call them? Our little dream babies. Mhmm. Through through through art and through some form of art.
Like, I need a little embroidered little cloth that I stuffed with mugwort and rose pedals and sage and and just put it on my altar and to honor that last little, like, desire to be a mother again. So that was that was an interesting theme that I felt that kinda expected like we all kind of laughed and you know, cried at that that letting go of that. Yeah. And then the physical the physical parts and pieces, you know, hot flashes and smooth swings, you know, and and having our partners or children not really under stand or be able to hold space for, like, the erratic moods mood moments of rise and fall with you know, at times anger, frustration, things that are helped.
Dorothee: Wow. Well, that dream baby ritual sounds really beautiful. And it also kind of makes me think about dominant culture and kind of like the worth of a woman and so how we're kind of taught about that and it sort of makes sense to me that, you know, pregnant and fertile women are very prominent in culture and then and then it starts to feel like women become more and more invisible. Even though I feel like women beyond the childbearing years are doing so much in the world. Like they're basically running things But in our, like, cultural dominant narrative, it's kind of, like, all maidens and young mothers and celebrities with toddlers and things like that, which yeah.
I mean, it's we have a lot of work to do, but I just I love that you were able to create a space where this transition is really honored and you could see each other in it.
Tamu: Yeah. And I definitely, the other piece is the body, the physical body changing. And I know for myself, from high school all the way through, you know, in and out of pregnancies into my early forties. I kinda maintained the same weight, I mean, outside of being pregnant and birthing a child, and then breastfeeding and losing weight, and and then somewhere in my mid forties, that stopped at, like, my I started gaining weight. And I didn't realize that it was connected to this transition.
I thought, oh, you know, I have a new partner and I'm my sleep habits have changed, and I'm eating later at night, and I might be sipping on a little more wine and enjoying time out together. And things like that. And then I realized, wait, this is my hormonal body shifting and really making peace with my new body and my new shape. And that has definitely been a theme as well with with some of the women is accepting our new bodies as they transition. And hold weight differently.
Dorothee: I'm curious too if there are, in your mind, energetic and spiritual shifts that happen? Like, do you find your priorities shifting or your focus unlike, what you how you want to spend your time?
Tamu: I just had this conversation with someone this weekend. It kinda gave her permission to feel this way because I didn't quite understand either, but I have been a caretaker mother for my family. Like I said, for over twenty five years, and even before that really caretaking people in my community and and partners. And more recently, I have felt like I don't want to take care of especially my children.
And there might you know, there's like a little bit of guilt that comes with that feeling at the same time recognizing that this is part of the transition. I definitely care taking the communities I'm in. And I actually, at times, feel more aligned with that than that caretaking that is needed as a mother to my children. And I have you know, two adult children, my son will be twenty five, and my daughter will be twenty three, and I also have a twelve year old. And so he still needs his his mama in the way that that I don't sometimes want to participate in.
And it's very interesting. I broke my ankle in March and I had to stay on my bed with a cast for some time and my partner stepped in to do the child, you know, the commute to school for my son. And my son ended up cooking a lot of his own meals. He would come into the room and ask me what could what can I make for dinner? I would share with him what ingredients there were, and he would put together his meal.
And now he's somewhat fully self sufficient in the kitchen. So I just I felt like that was I laugh at that because I needed to break my ankle so I could step back and allow him to take some responsibility for his care. And it allowed me to be in this this dance in a in another way.
Dorothee: Yeah. I can imagine it would be so challenging when you have more than twenty years of a certain way of being to really shift that and step back and let let the birds fly out of the nest and let your focus turn more toward your own self.
Tamu: Yes. Yes. I've been referencing Susan Weed's book, Menopausal Years, The Wise Woman Way, and she talks about the crone's year off, not most people do to have the luxury of taking a year off and stepping away, but even a day or a weekend or a month or even moments in the day where you get to just step away from all of the responsibilities and tend to self. So yeah, just a sweet reminder that that especially this time does call for that.
Dorothee: That kind of makes sense to me that in stepping away or retreating or turning inward that we increase our capacity to hold things for the collective at like a more global scale and be able to actualize things in the world once we go through that process deeply.
Tamu: Yes. So when I created the group, I was still bleeding and one of the honorings that we did also is, you know, we talked about working with our moon blood and knowing that that any time could be the last bleed and how are we honoring our blood and we looked at various ancestral practices and honoring our moon, our moon time, and honoring our blood. And in December of twenty twenty one. So just going right around my birthday when I turned forty nine, was my last bleed, as as I know right now, although I know it could come back.
And or I I feel like this is this is I'm gonna go through and on my fiftieth birthday will be one year and I will technically be now postmenopausal. So in that, it was very because I got a birth chart reading for my birthday, and I really decided now is the time to fully step into my gifts, my powers, my wellness offerings, more fully and make the steps to transition from the job that I've had as a teacher for the last twenty two years to to leave that. And that came with stopping to my blood stopping, and that that all simultaneously happened altogether, and I just reflect on it. And I'm still in it in this transition but it feels it feels very much aligned with with the transition to being an elder or or as Susan, when you said a baby crone because I don't really feel like I've earned the title of elder by any means yet.
Dorothee: Yeah. That's that's another area that I see growing in our culture toward, I think, a healthier way, which is starting to really honor elders more. And when I say our culture, I I'm just referring to, like, dominant American culture. Of course, we're many of us are lucky to be raised also in other cultures, but I've also heard quite a few folks from indigenous communities talk about women only really stepping into their role as a medicine person in the postmenopausal time like fifty and up. And even at fifty, it is like a baby baby medicine person, you know.
And so it it brings me a lot of like, hope and inspiration that, like, things aren't just over when when you're fifty. You know, it's like actually the beginning of a very potent time. That's the beginning.
Tamu: Oh my gosh. So potent. Yeah. I I really I just really wanna continue to honor that within myself. Like you said, I decided some years ago to let my gray hair you know, show itself and to stop dying my hair and and embracing my my body as it's taking shape and and just radiating that and also you know, hopefully inspiring other women to embrace that and radiate that. I I inspired my sister to grow her gray hair. I even inspired my mom to grow her gray hair, and so yeah, and and other women in the community were doing it along with each other. And when I see other women out, I'm like, yes.
Thank you. Let's change the narrative and beauty standard.
Dorothee: Yeah. My mom also rocks really long beautiful silver hair, and so that's very inspiring to me. I wanted to bring up something really interesting that I hadn't heard before. I believe the person who runs medical medium is the one who spoke about this in one of his books. I'm forgetting his name, but he talked about how when a woman stops bleeding, that it's almost like returning to a youthful state in the sense that when we were children, we weren't kind of like in that ebb and flow of the menstrual cycle.
And so we return to that sort of steady state instead of being in the in the wave of the moon. And I thought that was interesting because I just hadn't heard that before. Like, oh, you know, maybe we're reconnecting with our pre pubescent, like, spirit in some sense when we were just we were just a being that wasn't necessarily, you know, sexual or reproductive. We were just a person. And doing stuff.
Yeah.
Tamu: I mean, I I definitely see that in in older women in I I say older women and more elders that that kind of spirit of that you may have had as a child where you just went for it or just to play and to follow your spirit and dressing in the way that speaks to your heart and all of these things, I see that almost kind of like you said kind of child like in a way. But in the most beautiful childlike way.
Dorothee: Yeah. I love that. And all of this makes me think too that it makes so much sense that if we're having initiation rights for kind of entering the world of reproduction and working with our blood, it makes so much sense that there would be an initiation right or a process on the end of that as you transition out of it and Gosh, I I just hope, yeah, more women will be able to create circles like the one that you're that you're doing. Yes.
Tamu: Yeah. Yeah. And I have thought about how can we create some an initiation or ritual or a ceremony you know, when a mother is pregnant, she'll may have her her blessing way and honoring that transition into motherhood and the birth. But this transition dozen. I have yet to know any rituals to move into this next phase.
With any elders that I have listened to and and transition, like, what So, yeah, I I'm I'm crafting that in my mind, like, what would that look like and may may invite women to do to share in that with me for my fiftieth birthday. Should I not, you know, bleed again? That will be that the year of, you know, that they say if you're haven't bled for twelve months, then you're now transitioned to postmenopause.
Dorothee: Yeah. I can imagine it would be so powerful to be honored for what you have, like, given and nurtured in the childbearing years and then be recognized and maybe mirrored for the gifts that people see are emerging or blooming out of you, like, for this next phase. And and it's just to me, it's so important in our culture for people to be truly seen on spirit or a soul level and it can be so rare.
Tamu: So, yeah, I'm thinking of and I and I just keep popping back to again the elders that I learned from, Queen Afua being one of them. I think you did you have her on?
Dorothee: I did. Yeah. So yes.
Tamu: Yeah. And I'm just like you are an elder and I know you went through this transition, but it's it's it's I think she has maybe three sentences in her book sacred woman about menopause. So I I'm just like, where what was your journey, you know? And I know, of course, you know, food, you know, your your diet, your self care practices, all the herbal allies, you know, keeping a sacred container. I know in her moving through the gateways and holding the alter.
All of that can support. There's transition for sure. And the body still is gonna do what the body does and the hot flashes and the mood swings and fluctuations in libido, and all of those things are still happening. And I'm just I would love for her to share her story of that. Yeah. I and I'm curious, I mean, for those who are listening here, if there are any self care practices or herbal allies that you found found to be helpful on your path, maybe that could inspire some folks. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Well, definitely the herbal support has come for me and and I know everyone has theirs that they find support with.
But one is a Motherwort. And I had was this in twenty eighteen, my my family and I converted our grass front yard into a medicinal pollinator garden. Mhmm. And one of the plants that we planted was Motherwort, just one plant and it started to flower, and I reached out to my friend, herbalist friend, who who also was the director of a garden here in Oakland, and she said you should, you know, cut back your motherwort it and make a tincture. So I said, okay. But I didn't know any really anything about what the mother word offered. So I made the tincture and it actually sat in. I made the tincture, let it sit, strained it off, and I've been I kept it in my fridge for a long time and made a motherwort oil. And then in the last year, that tincture has become my medicine every time I have a hot flash or a surge I will dose myself with the mother where I keep it by my bed. So even yeah. Again, in Susan Wade's book, she says, if you wake up in the middle of the night with a hot flash, just take a few drops of motherwort and it will support you. And so since since making that, and again, I didn't know why I made it and how I would really benefit from it, I have used used this.
And it's just a small sixteen ounce jar of tincture that I continue to fill bottles with. For myself, my sister, and my daughter has has taken it at times. So I just really want to acknowledge that if we grow plants and make tinctures medicine for our family, you know, that sixteen ounce bottle has has is there still it continues to last. And like I said, I have been really leaning on that a lot lately and taking it throughout the day and at times at night. So, yeah, that's one and then herbal infusions of red clover and oat straw. Tea infusions have been amazing. And I've also danced a little bit with lemon balm and hibiscus as well. And I've also, over the last few years, I've done two plant dietas, months long plant dietas where I go much deeper with one particular plant and you know, taken through a ceremony, the spirit of the plan is breathed into me, and then I work with that plan every day. And listen to what it has to offer.
I take it in ingest it in all the ways that maybe the plant starts to advise. And one that I worked with in twenty nineteen was mugwort. And right now, I'm working with rose. And I feel like both of those are really amazing allies for this shift and the feminine and the moon and all of the connections that these go through these plants have.
Dorothee: That's so beautiful. Yeah. Those are great tips. And of course, you know, listeners see what feels right for your body and your spirit, but those might be some great places to start and feel into if if it seems helpful to you. And yeah, in terms of self care, I mean, are there particular movements or meditations or I'm just so curious, like, Yeah. What's supportive to you?
Tamu: Yeah. I would definitely I mean, yoga has been an amazing really through my whole I think I started doing yoga when I was pregnant with my son, with my first son. So over twenty five years ago, I started doing yoga and yoga has continued to be a practice that has you know, brought me into my body, helped to navigate intense emotions, helped to calm my nervous And when I'm doing when I have a consistent practice of yoga, I feel amazing in my body whatever size or shape I'm taking form.
And but I I will say that I mentioned I broke my ankle in in March. I have not been on my mat. And that was I was just entering the twenty one day raw food cleanse that I facilitate and all the self care practices that I'm used to taking walks in nature, yoga, Sana, Epsom salt bath. All of that fell by the wayside because I had to cast on my leg. Crutches, and I couldn't do those things.
So somehow, I managed to see my way through it with with a lot of grace and and still felt very cared for. One practice that I started at the beginning of the year is oil body oiling or with herbal oils. I started this woman. She made some amazing chocolates and she had some herbal oils that I bought a collection from her wild omen. And I don't know her name right now in this moment, but her on Instagram, it's Wild Omen.
And I had bought this collection of herbal oils sagebrush, Yaro, and I wanna say it was blue violet. So I started doing herbal oil massage. So when I broke my ankle that became my ritual every single day after my showers to just sit and rub myself from head to toe with herbal oils, also flower essences. I have been working with flower essences consistently probably for the last six or seven years. And those have just become my saving grace through every and all transitions and integrations of, you know, big work that I do in in plant medicine ceremonies and one of there's two that are speaking for this transition.
One is one that I made. It's a pink MAGNOLIA and rose quartz. Flower essence that I named wisdom body, and it definitely helps connect us to our matrilenial lineage and also to to surrender and integrate the shift of of one life stage to another from maiden or mother to Crohn from menstruation to menopause. And then the other one is the the Woman of Wisdom Formula from a company called Desert Alchemy. They are a company in Tucson.
I think it's Tucson Arizona. I should know. I just completed their their coursework. Our last class was yesterday, but the women of wisdom formula that one has been amazing through this shift over the last, especially over the last few months.
Dorothee: They sound so beautiful, and I'll make sure to link to all these things that you're mentioning in the show page.
Tamu: If I continue to mention it because it has become a reference book that I used so much as Susan Weeds, menopausal years book, all of these herbs that I spoke of. I'm pretty sure she speaks about all of them. She doesn't talk about flower essences, but the herbal allies. And what's beautiful is if if you haven't looked at her books, she gives these the she's like stage zero to stage five, and she gives you, you know, say, it's addressing hot flashes. You can do nothing.
You can shift your diet. And then the next stage might be some gentle herbal allies. The next stage might be more aggressive ones. And then there's the the last stage, which she calls break and enter, which is going to Western medicine, and doing something that maybe a doctor would prescribe hormone replacement or something like that and but what's beautiful is there's all these options laid out, and then you can find what works for you. For your body and and it's information so that you can make the best decision for your own body.
What works for one person may not work for the other person and someone may need more support in some area than another.
Dorothee: Yeah. Well, I'm wondering we have just a little bit of time left, and I'm wondering if there have been any surprises or things that you didn't expect that have come up in this process or within the circle that you've been holding space for.
Tamu: Yeah. I mean, again, I just really feel this conversation isn't happening. It just continues to rear up and and women are eager for it. Every single woman that I talk to is eager for these conversations. Thirsty for information, thirsty for validation, thirsty for a space to share, and learn and grow.
Yeah. I just continued to see it and and a lot of especially through COVID, I've seen a lot of women, my age, sharing different things that they're going through, and I'm kind of like reading all of it, and I'm like, this is perimenopause, but everyone's now calling it, calling it COVID. You know, pandemic or kind of like the just different symptoms. It's so interesting. And like the the for at least for the women that are in my age group, a lot of the, quote, symptoms that they're sharing, they're attributing to, you know, being at home in the pandemic and everything.
And I'm like, yes. And it's also simultaneously happening as you move through perimenopause. So let's let's maybe that It's so like weight gain and brain fog and things like that and yeah. Yeah. It's it it's just been a funny revelation.
I'm just okay. And I think it's perimenopause too. Right. But again, we don't really talk about it too much. I have met women who feel really frustrated that that that this these things that I'm talking about have never been shared with them and that they wish they had that or they still might be in it and are are angry that you know, their doctor or their community never prepared them.
Dorothee: Yeah. And I think we come by it really honestly because as I was doing some research into the history of how menopause has been framed in dominant American culture again. I even found quotes where doctors male doctors, of course, would say that the end of menstruation is the end of a woman functionally being a woman. So I can imagine that that's something that a woman would wanna hide and not acknowledge because what does that say about her femininity and if that's so emphasized as being what you want to be in the culture. Right?
It's like scary to even admit that you're beyond that phase and and what yeah, what does that mean for who you are and your role in the world and, oh, it's so complicated.
Tamu: We have a lot to kind of shed and reframe and yeah, do away with, let's unravel all of that. And yeah. Yeah. It's because, again, I'm surrounded by women who are stepping I I mean, I think this is the time that this time is calling for women to step up and to step out and to own their their gifts in all of its layers openly because this is what is needed for this big shift that we're in. And yeah, and many of them, at least in my community, are women of of age that are also going through this transition, and some of them are in their twenties, like my daughter, you know, and her cohort of young women.
And women who are moving into their thirties and into their forties and into their fifties. I'm seeing it across, spanning across, but it definitely doesn't end after after menstruation.
Dorothee: Yeah. And I've also heard from some friends who are entering this phase. They feel I get the sense they feel a bit guilty or ashamed for the very strong and fierce feelings that they're having about the world or about, yeah, what's happening collectively. And to me, I'm like, we need that voice. We need the fierce voice, the grandmothers, the aunties, the women who've just been working their whole lives, you know, and and, like, we need to hear from them because they're not ready to take any more crap.
Tamu: Absolutely we need to step up and do something. Yeah. Unapologetically, I feel like that's how we need to step in into this this phase. And it and it may not be pretty and it may not be as graceful as we would like. And it may be a shock to our loved ones. Right? Like, whoa. Okay.
What's this, like, attitude? Like, yeah, this attitude is the you know, we're not babies anymore. Yes. Oh, one I did wanna share one other thing, one other practice that I've been doing -- Mhmm. -- that that again co it it coincided right with my last bleed and coming into this year twenty twenty two. I started doing this this moon work. And I feel like it it's again, my my moon blood and the moon work I was doing with my blood was was kind of just beautifully and synchronistically replaced by this moon work with this woman She's an astrologer.
Her name is Monique Raffin. You could find her on Instagram or YouTube or Mighty Network. She leads, it's called the thirteen moon harnessing everyday practical magic, and we move through each each month we move through nine phases of the moon. And in within each phase, we do various rituals and asks certain questions and dive a little deeper into self inquiry and observation and gathering what messages are coming from spirit. And, yeah, again, I've been doing this work since January, and it and it just, like, almost like swept in and replaced the the moon work that I was doing, like I said, with my own my own moon cycle and my own blood to do this monthly moon work.
Dorothee: That sounds so beautiful because even if we're not waxing and waning in our physical selves, we can still be working with the moon, with the seasons, with the cycles, that doesn't end.
Tamu: Yes. I think we both agree that this is not an ending anything. Yeah. I feel like gathering with other women is really important. And just going back to being a seventies baby and my mom was in in, you know, mother circles and and sister circles and continuing these circles into this transition can be extremely supportive.
I am working on crafting that space to the larger community. Right now, it's been within my my immediate sister circle and hopefully will also have some type of maybe guide or maybe a workbook or something that people can work with if they want to create their own circles. That would be so beautiful.
Dorothee: Well, for those who are listening, who'd like to find out more about your work, Where can we find you online? And, yeah, what are you offering at the moment?
Tamu: You can find me on Instagram at holistic with a w h underscore shine or uchubatanicals. So I I have wellness offerings that include twenty one day seasonal, twenty one day raw food detox journeys, edit may sound wow, raw food for twenty one days, but I have had people join that don't do raw food because it doesn't fit their constitution or what their body needs at the time, but it's still a beautiful journey of holding a beautiful container for people to dive into better self care through this twenty one day time and hopefully adopt some new practices to support the physical and spiritual and emotional well-being. I also make have my utopotechnical herbal offerings, which include a beautiful collection of flower essences and and hydrosol mist that I make here in my kitchen hailing laboratory with my copper still and a few other things. Let's see. I like I said, my intention and my work right now is to create a way to share this this dancing, the in between circle or the information for other women to, yeah, have have an opportunity to learn with each other and and grow and share to support this transition, this next transition in in our lives as as women.
Dorothee: Thank you so much, Tamu. It's been an honor to hear about your perspective and your wisdom. Thank you for sharing. And yeah, I just look forward to continuing to follow your work and see all the beautiful things that you'll be doing in the world.
Tamu: Thank you so much for having me, and I am excited to to see how this conversation to honor this time unfolds through your podcast because I know this is hopefully one of one of many that we can all resource and and learn from.
Dorothee: Yes. Yes. May there be many more conversations and tools and resources shared for this topic. Yes.
Dorothee: Thank you for listening to the show. I wanna let you know that Tamu has offered MoonWise listeners Five dollars off the Uchi botanical wisdom body pink magnolia rose quartz essence that she mentions in this episode. Just mention MoonWise when you email Tamu to purchase at holistic shinegmail dot com. I will also put that information on the show page so you can make sure you're sending it to the right email. You can hear it more episodes on moon wise dot dot co or subscribe to the MoonWise podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
If you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a written review on Apple Podcasts and get a shout out on the show. Reviews help others find the podcast, and I read each and everyone. Thank you so much for your support. Our theme music is butterflies march from Sophie Cooper's album rewilding. See you next time.